It still fits

I did something today that I haven’t done in over three years. I put on my wedding ring. And guess what . . . it still fits! I don’t think it’s weird or psychotic for me to wear it today. I think it’s fitting.

I’ve been wearing it around my neck for three years now and when I realized the significance of it being our fourteen year wedding anniversary, I had to put it back on.

Fourteen years isn’t a round number but it has a special significance to me.

I was 14-years-old when I first fell in love with Justin.  We would have been married now for the same number of years that I was alive when we first got together.

We were just babies and somehow managed to make the best decision of our lives. Each other!

There was a special song I sang to Justin on our wedding day and since he’s been gone it has triggered sad tears instead of happy. About a year ago I decided that “Our Song” was too important to be thrown away.

It needed a new meaning and I wanted to pass it on to our son. So I started singing it to Jax as a lullaby before bed and he seems to love it.


Allison Krauss – When You Say Nothing At All

The smile on your face let’s me know that you need me.

There’s a truth in your eyes saying you’ll never leave me.

The touch of your hand says you’ll catch me if ever I fall.”

“You say it best, When you say nothing at all” 

July 26, 2003 was a beautiful day and one that I will honor for the rest of my life. Our Jax will grow up knowing that he was created out of pure and intoxicating love. A special love that a lot of people never experience. And for that reason alone I can celebrate today and maybe even smile. Because lets face it, you always loved my smile!  

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5 thoughts on “It still fits”

  1. Thanks Jessica for that beautiful tribute to the love that you and Justin promised to each other 14 years ago today.
    I remember you being so calm and sure!
    Now Jax can hear those words every night and know how much you love him!!
    He is blessed to have a glimpse of his father through this post.
    I love you!

  2. Dear Jessica, Thank you for your beautiful article that I just read on Popsugar. I am so sorry for your terrible loss, but so impressed at how you have managed to turn this tragedy into something positive. I am convinced that babies born to parents who love each other, like your little boy is, are particularly special, and hope it is a comfort that your husband lives on through your son and in your heart. I am always amazed at how strong women are, bravo on choosing to be happy and positive despite the hardship!

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